Wednesday, 27 July 2016

Do You Love Me...

The 4 most heartbreaking word your young child could possibly say to you, Do You Love Me...

Look at that photo, how could I possibly not!

Over the last month or so Holly has been asking this. I wouldn't say a lot, maybe a handful of times. The last time she asked was last night while she was in the toilet. 

I have no idea why she would start asking this. The only reason I can think of is, that her baby sister it due in the next month or so, and maybe this has started to have an effect on her. 

My behaviour towards Holly hasn't changed. In the beginning, when I was trying to get used to the tiredness again, yes I will admit I snapped a few times at her for the silliest of things. I then would feel extremely guilty and go back, say sorry, give her snuggles and let her sleep in my bed with me until my OH got in from work. 

But recently my lovely OH has been taking the brunt of my mood swings and I have been purposely trying not to take them out on Holly. 

I suppose the only thing o can really do is keep reassuring her that I still love her and always will. One thing I know I need to get my finger out with is playing with her more. 

I have struggled with this recently with being pregnant and working full time. However, I do only have 2 weeks left and I'm hoping that then when we have all day together I will find it much easier to entertain her and play with her more. 

Has anyone else had this problem?? Advice muchly appreciated as always :)

Speak soon 
L x
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39 comments:

  1. My little boy has started asking this too and he doesn't have a new sibling on the horizon. I think they sometimes just like the reassurance, when I asked my boy before why he needed to ask me, he said he liked to hear me say it (even though I tell him all the time anyway). You are doing all the right things reassuring her. xx #BloggerClubUK

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    1. Thats good to know it might just be a phase!
      Lx

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  2. I can imagine that it is hard when they start asking this - but then I remember asking my own mum this as a child and I knew that she did love me - I just wanted to hear her say it so maybe that is the case for Holly too. Her baby sister being due in the next month or so might also be part of the reason - it's a big change for you all and so only natural that she is seeking reassurance from you. It sounds like you are doing the right thing with reassuring her as much as possible though.

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    1. Thanks, it was just so unexpected!!

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  3. How you NOT love that adorable little girl! I think it's just a natural part of kids growing up. I get "I don't even think you love me." or "I hate you!" Those are heartbreaking as well. As much as it hurts I just have to reassure them that I will always love them no matter what. What's that saying? Being a mother is like walking around with your heart on your sleeve. Hugs! #brilliantblogposts

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  4. Oh hon I haven't had this as yet but sometimes I think they are just trying to make sense of the world around them rather than it being too much of a personal thing. My little one has had all sorts of odd phrases of coming out with the strangest stuff and I think sometimes they just need to feel safe and secure as their brains are developing at the rate of knotts and it's not necessarily our behaviour which is the root of those sort of comments, but sometimes something entirely different. Thanks for linking up with #coolmumclub lovely x

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  5. Aww she is so cute, I think like you say, when you get off work a little girly day together, one on one might make her feel more secure about the new arrival. #ablogginggoodread

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    1. We have the next 4 weeks together! Hope this helps :)
      Lx

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  6. Oh no, like you say I'm sure it's probably just a reaction to Number 2 being on their way. Sorry I don't have any tips as I've only got the one and he hasn't asked me that before. But, I do say "I love you" to him every night when I tuck him up #coolmumclub

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  7. Sounds like you're doing all the right things! It's a difficult question to hear, and natural to worry about where it's coming from. I'd guess it has a lot to do with her baby sister being on the way. Even if nothing between you has changed, it's bound to have an effect. I'm sure playing with her a bit more once you've finished work will help a lot - dealing with a full time job and pregnancy as well as being there for her is a huge challenge. I'm sure you'll reassure her that love is not something that has to be divided between her and her sister like slices of a cake - instead it multiplies, so there's just more of it! You sound like a great mum - good luck! #coolmumclub

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    1. We have the next 4 weeks together, it could make or break us haha
      Thanks for reading!

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  8. I commented yesterday but didn't see it on here. It'll get better and a little mummy/daughter day is in order when you finish work. It's a big change for her but when baby comes if you introduce your daughter to baby I think it'll be fine- just explain to your daughter before hand that when baby comes it may feel like you have less time but you love her loads. Shared for #momsterslink

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    1. I have been doing lots of research on introducing new siblings. Lets hope it helps haha
      Thanks for reading!

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  9. What a beauty, My little man has asked me if I like him before out of the blue. It may be that she is seeking reassurance that you love her that you will always love her even with new baby. I am glad you only have a couple of weeks left of work, before baby comes I would have a girly day just you both..it may be nothing to do with insecurity she could be trying to figure out what love is..xx Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

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    1. We have the next 4 weeks together, hopefully it helps :)
      Thanks for reading!

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  10. Oh sweetie, you are not the only one! I have 5 children, and even though I work from home, most of my days are spent in my office where I am very busy. It is hard when I am done working to set aside time to play when all I want to do is sleep. But it does get better, and it will get better, especially once the baby is here, you will have more energy again. NO worries, you are doing the best you can! xo #Momsterslink

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    1. Good to know I'm not the only one!!
      Thanks for reading!

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  11. Oh man, it has to be heart wrenching to hear those words come out of your baby's mouth. I would say that reassuring her every time she asks is the best way for it to pass. Like you said, it could be because she knows she won't be the only child for long. Whatever the reason, I think you're handling it wonderfully! <3 #KCACOLS

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  12. I think it comes in phases - my 8 year old is always needing to know how much he is loved and needs lots of cuddles too, for no particular reason. I think his older brother does too, but rather than asking, he tells me he loves me (probably in the hope that I'll reciprocate - which I always do!). Sometimes they seem to ask more than others, but not for any particular reason. Don't know if this helps to reassure you at all? #KCACOLS

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    1. IT really does. Helps to know it seems most kids do this :)
      Thanks for reading!

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  13. We all snap sometimes honest! Mine are 3 and 1, and the amount of times The Kid says things like this is unreal, including "I hate you"' and "daddy doesn't love me." He does he just works a lot and I suppose when your 3 time does slow. Sounds like your doing ace! Being preg second time around is hard as you can't put your feet up of an evening as much bit try and get as much rest as you can! #KCACOLS

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  14. I think that my kids have come out with most things around do I love them, would I ever leave them, then as they get older, oh mum leave me alone, mum you're so overprotective! Mum you're so embarrassing. I'm hearing them all and thats with or without mood swings!;)

    Mainy x
    #KCACOLS

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    1. haha yeah i vaguely remember being a preteen and teen haha
      Thanks for reading

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  15. Oh bless her (and poor you, what a question to be asked!). I don't have much advice other than lots of cuddles and reassurance whenever she needs it! #KCACOLS

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  16. Oh hun, we are all human and shut and snap when maybe we shouldn't. I am sure it is just a phase. In a few weeks it will probably be something else she is saying. Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

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  17. Aww bless her I'm sure she knows you love her. Sometimes they just say things they have heard somewhere without realising what they mean #kcacols

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    1. Lets hope so!!
      Thanks for reading!

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  18. That's heartbreaking for you to hear, but she is probably just making sense of your pregnancy in her own little mind.
    You could try making her a little book with pictures of you together saying things like "Mummy loves Holly very much." "Mummy loves playing with Holly." "Being with Holly makes Mummy very happy." I find this strategy has helped me when I want to reinforce something with my son. Hope that helps, and good luck with the final few weeks of your pregnancy! :)
    xAlice
    #kcacols

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    1. I never thought of this!! I could make her a smash book!
      Thanks :)

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  19. Awww bless her. I wouldn't worry too much. I think it is probably a natural question that comes at a point when they start to be more aware of these things. Just keep doing what you're doing to reassure her. Thanks so much for linking with #KCACOLS. We hope you come back next week.

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  20. I struggled with this with my (now 5 year old daughter who also happens to be the middle of the littles) about a year ago. She would constantly tell me that I didn't like her. I would of course reassure her everytime and explain to her that I was her mommy and that I will always love her but that sometimes I don't LIKE her behavior. I had started saying that to her just before the whole "you don't like me thing" started. She would be doing something wrong and I'd say "I'm not liking your behavior" translated to her I suppose meant that I didn't like her. The phase passed or she finally understood that loving her and disliking her behavior were two different things. It could quite possibly be the new baby coming that is sparking these words from your little girl. I am sure she will be fine. Don't be so hard on yourself...those hormones are a real pain in the ass. Thanks for linking up with #momsterslink. Hope to see you again tomorrow!

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