The last few days have been really hard. I have no idea what it is, but I just haven't been myself or feeling happy. My OH reckons it is hormonal and I think he might be right.
Let's start with I hate pregnancy. I haven't had it particularly bad the first time round or this time round. The first time I had no symptoms. This time round I felt dizzy in the first trimester. Now I'm in my third trimester and my ankles and legs are starting to swell up. I know I probably sound ungreatful. I know other people get it a lot worse than what I've had it. Its just hard after having worked so hard for 6months to lose 2 stone, then to see everything swelling back up again.
I feel like I cant do as much at work anymore. My job involves a lot of walking up and down the stairs to collect products, but I get out of breath going up an down the stairs now. If I stand for too long I feel my legs and ankles swelling. We do have two new starts, so I have just been kind of sitting back and letting them do all the running about. But then I feel bad and I start to think my boss is going to wonder what I have actually been doing. Even though training two people is hard and I never stop all day. I guess I kind of feel like they are going to wonder what the point in me being there is.
Then we have the toilet training issues with Holly. She will pee no problem in the toilet, pretty much every time, but we can't get her to poo. She will hold it in till she has her night nappies on or wait till she's in the bath. I feel really bad as at nights I'm tired and I get really grumpy with her for not pooing in the toilet and all she will say is sorry mummy over and over. Then I feel like crap for being grumpy about it.
Then I feel like crap because I think to myself, OMG I'm probably going to have to do this all over again. What was I thinking getting pregnant again. Then I feel like crap for thinking that!!! It's just one big huge circle of feeling crap all the time hahaha.
My OH is really good during the weekends. But he works back shift for child care reasons, so at nights during the weeks, I have no choice but to stick the big girl pants on a deal with everything.
Did any of you feel like this during your second pregnancy?? Please me a comment and let me know.
Sorry for the ramble haha sometimes it's easier to get things off your chest on a lovely little blog.